-Paulo Cuelho
I could see them in the distance. My best friend since eight
grade walking towards a nearby restaurant with outdoor seating. It was a sunny
day and the wind was just strong enough to push her hair around like she was on
a movie set. I looked for the camera crew from The Hills to come running around
the corner. She walked up to one
of the tables outside and was greeted with a hug. I was shocked when I finally made out who it was.
She was hugging a............................................. “Frenemy.”
I couldn’t believe my eyes.
You know what a frenemy is right? One of those girls that
you vocally call a friend but secretly can’t stand. The one you are in silent competition with, hoping that one
day they will fall flat on their face and break their nose.
It’s really awful. Why do we do this? And don’t pretend like you don’t,
because we all know your lying.
“Who me? I would never,” Yea, yea, whatever.
By the time I had gotten over the fact that my best friend
was having lunch with my arch frenemy, the conversation had turned to gossip. I had no time to be angry, I had to eavesdrop. "So and so is pregnant, Yada, yada, got divorced."
Come on..... get to the good stuff.
Don’t you ever just wish that you could be the fly on a wall
during a private conversation between girlfriends? Then you could find out what
they really think of you, and if your butt really DID look fat in those jeans.
My advice to that? Trust yourself, if you think it looks fat, then she
probably does too. But then again,
a lot of guys like that, so go with it.
All of a sudden, there it was, the part in the conversation
that I had been waiting for. “So
you know Nikki broke up with her boyfriend and had to LEAVE New York.”
“Ha, I called it from a mile away. I could have told her
before she even went in the first place, saved her the gas money. She only moved there because he wanted to go, she gave
up on her dreams to follow him.”
“I know right," my friend responded wide eyed. I was hoping
she would set her straight, change the way this frenemy saw me.
She didn’t.
I was crushed. If only either of them knew how wrong they had it. How, yes, maybe in the beginning I was hesitant to move. But after arriving, I started to remember things about my childhood. Mostly memories of me designing my dream loft in lower Manhattan. One with the clichéd red brick wall and open floor plan. I realized that New York had been my dream all along; I just needed someone to come into my life and push me in the right direction.
I couldn't.
I couldn't.
No matter what we do, we can't change the way someone sees us. Where does wasting our time worrying
about it get us?
Here in this room creating stories in our head, preventing ourselves from taking the next step.
Spying, and hiding in the bushes
Like a weirdo………
* The thoughts
and feelings of this story are all real, and the scenario seems authentic when I relive it
in my head again and again. But,
it’s only a story my mind concocted to keep from marching forward.
