Phone Calls, Gossip Benches, and Some Terrible Advice

“If you want to get back in the saddle, all you have to do is read this book. It will teach you everything you need to know about how to get a guy interested in you.”

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“Thanks, but I was just saying was that I was wondering why he didn’t call. It’s not that big of a deal.”

“That’s a no brainer; He’s just not that into you.”

I was slightly confused considering I hadn’t given her any information about the situation except for the fact that I hadn’t talked to someone for a few days.  

 “I was just surprised that it was bothering me because it hasn’t ever really bothered me before. “

 She walked over to her nightstand and grabbed two books.  Two self-help books on the subject of men and dating. 

Great,  First she spends seventy-five dollars on the ugliest sweater ever made, to wear to a party for one night, and now she is advising me on how to get men to like me. Thanks but no thanks.

She flipped to a page and began to quote the author, “If he is not calling you, it’s because you are not on his mind.”

“Wait, I don’t get it…..So I wanted to call him, but I didn’t. Does that mean he is not on my mind either? Because that’s not true.”

She rolled her eyes, I obviously didn't understand. “No Nikki, your job is to make yourself completely unavailable to keep him interested. You don’t call so that he keeps thinking about you. If he stops calling, that means he stopped thinking about you.”

“Here, read this, ” she handed me the other book. How to Think Like a Guy; How to get a guy by thinking like one. I flipped to the table of contents. Immediately, I was confronted with a long list of tips for baiting and hooking a man.

“What?!?! I have to do ALL these things to find a guy?!?!?!"

#4 Block your number (freak!)
#9 Don't model yourself after Paris Hilton (Ok, this one makes sense)

#13 Don’t admit you were a bad student (lie)

#23 Never admit you’ve slept with more than 5 guys…......
#28 Love good music (aka; pretend to like what he likes, aka; more lies).
#64 Don't surprise him with short hair (Do what's best for him, not you)
#66 Don't break up unless you have a rebound (!?!?!?!)

 66 tips on how to make the perfect, “six pack, six figure man” fall in love with you.

“Is there a pop quiz at the end of this lecture, I need to go buy some flash-cards?” 

Design Sponge

 Ghost Furniture; June and Bear

Why can’t I just be myself? 

I look at it this way, if you change yourself in order to get someone to fall in love with you it will never work. Sooner or later, the short haired, puppy loving, terrible driver is going to come out. Then there will be a lot of confusion, and a lot of, “What happened to that awesome girl I fell in love with?”

I think somewhere along the line women forgot that men are human beings too, not just pawns in a game of relationship chess. They have feelings and insecurities just like us; they just don’t feel the need to have them validated every minute of every day.

All I know is that when I actually AM ready to get back in the saddle, I will not be making it into a game. If I meet someone worth getting to know he will like me for me, not a fake me I used to manipulate him.

 Ephermera and more

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I was a dork in High school, in fact,  I still am.

Sometimes (all the time) I think to myself in Facebook status.

I walk around IKEA……for FUN.

My favorite song of all time is She’s like the Wind by Patrick Swayze.

I enjoy rapping poorly to complicated Busta Rhymes songs.

I often take more time to plan out how to efficiently execute a task than it would actually take to do the task inefficiently.

I loved Football in college, but have hardly watched a game since….And I am OK with that.

I can’t lie to people I really care about, It’s just not possible.

So instead, I keep quiet about things instead of being honest, to avoid a messy situation.

Talking to me is good for your health

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Chances are, if you know me now, you know the real me. Interested or not; I’m happy about that.

Ms. Magdeline Marie